Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Shaped like a Human Tortilla

I've been Tagged! I'm so excited! This is the first time ever! Usually I just steal these things!

1. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
Prowling around the campsite, foraging for food and fodder.

2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Did I just spend 8 hours dreaming of Britney Spears hair?

3. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?
Younger. I get crushes on men with abs and glutes and arm muscles, and they are always younger.

4. What did you do last night?
Watched Dancing With the Stars.

5.What do you hope to do this weekend?
Go to prison, but just as a visitor! Passing Go and collecting 200 dollars first, of course.

6. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Yes, with a shopping cart and a park bench.

7. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
I don't own a stereo of any kind. And there were none to be had in the marketplace this morning! Not for ready money!

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
Usually my declarations of love are insincere.

10. What were you doing this morning at 7am?
TEA, Mrs. Bolting!

11. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?
Don't you think I have anything better to do than to track my day by the hour? I was standing on line at the Post Office. Post, Miss Post!

12. What was the reason you last cried?
Do I need a reason?

(This survey jumps to #19 now, I don't know why.)

19. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
I live in California, I've never talked to anyone who WASN'T! Even my cat is high on catnip.

20. How many red lights have you ran?
I've never ranned a stoplight, nor have I run one. I have however, R-U-N-N-O-F-T!

21. Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
I regularly cry in the shower. It's where all the significant moments of my life have taken place. It's where I took my first tuba lesson. It's where I first read Byron. It's where I first beheld the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich and it's where I composed my Opus.

22. What was your favorite grade?
That one outside of Denver where you are looking straight up into the Rocky Mountains. But not the downhill grades! Those are scary.

23. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Did you expect me to say hittin' the bars and shootin' some pool with the fellas? Good Lord! Taking off my corset, brushing my locks one hundred strokes and donning my nightcap, of course!

24. Whats a sure way to catch your attention?
Speak fluent English.

25. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Is this a yes or no question, Dr. Phil, or may I expound?

26. When was the last time you were given roses?
Dead roses or live ones? Because it makes a difference.

27. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
Chocolate covered lobster. Alaskan King Crab Legs. German Chocolate Cake. You know, birthday foods!

28. Where did your last hug take place?
It was dawn. I was straddling the flagpole of the Empire State Building. The Jaws of Life Helicopter was clattering overhead. The black-clad Swat Team Captain scooped me up and dragged me to safety. I'm sure it had meaning. I'm sure I saw the look of surprised attraction in his eyes. When I get out of jail, I'm going to track him down and stalk him until he agrees to marry me.

29. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
Usually they just mutter through it. Ponsonby, how hard can it be?

30. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
No offense, but you SUCK! Actually, I used to play this little game in the car with my abusive boyfriend of yore. I would roll down the window next to some scary dudes and say, "I think you are perfectly lovely, but my boyfriend thinks you look like a dirty bag of bile!" It was so much fun! Especially if they were biker dudes.

31. Do you drink tea?
I just don't get this question. It defies physics, propriety and addles all my sensibilities.

32. When was the last time you saw a cop?
Last Saturday Night when I invited him in to look out my window so he could see the scene of the crime more clearly below. It was one of many homeless incidents. A drunken brawl, to be exact. I witnessed the whole thing. I was the chief witness!

33. Did you ride in someone elses car today?
No. I almost asked this lady at the grocery if she would push me around in that shopping cart/automobile thing they provide for kids, but the dessert section distracted my attention.

Well, consider yourself tagged if you made it this far! If you put this on your blog, please leave a note in my comments so I can come by and read your answers!

No comments: