Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Save me from Britney Spears, O Lawd!

I don't know what my subconscious mind was trying to tell me, but last night I dreamed all about Britney Spears. It went on and on and on, and I had to hang out with her through every kind of nonsense she could come up with to grab attention. I even had to help her put that hayhead she calls hair into some revolting pig tails using orthodontics rubber bands.

I've always enjoyed the fact that I dream in color and have vivid, involved plots that are ever changing and always entertaining...but sometimes it backfires. Do I really need to dig in Britneys purse for a stick of gum? TOO much information!

What I'm really excited about, though, is the new season of Dancing With the Stars. At first I thought it wasn't going to be too good: My favorite, Marie Osmond, didn't seem to be too rhythmic or light on her feet, and so many of the cast are strangers to me that I didn't think I could relate to them.

However, it's getting better each week. I find myself bouncing around and cheering while the show is on. How can you not love a good quick step or tango? I have to say I am more fond of the traditional ballroom than the Latin Dances...I really don't enjoy watching sparkley-clad couples slime all over each other to a Latin Beat...but if it's done right, the Tango is sooo romantic!

My pics and pans are:

Wayne Newtons' got to go! He is too scared to loosen up. To be fair, he's the oldest contestant there, but that black shoe polish he puts on his hair and that smear-on bronzer are soooo Vegas. It's too much!

My Favorite Guy is Melio or Helio or Elio? The one who is dancing with Julianna, my favorite from last year. For a Race Car Driver that guy has some seriously fancy footwork! He reminds me of one of those French Actors from the 40's and 50's. Yves Montand I think it was.

I don't know what to say about the Boxing Champion! He can move, yes, but the top half of his body seems separate from the bottom half. It makes him seem awkward and clumsy.

All the women are good this year: Jane Seymour is such a class act that it's hard to believe her when she does things like the jive where you have to get down and dirty. But I love her anyway and she's good enough to go very far in the competition.

I like the Scary Spice girl. She's hot anyway, but she has Max for her partner and he's the most manly-man dancer I've ever seen. They are usually so gay, if you know what I mean.

The female dancer that I don't like is the Cheetah Girl. She reminds me of a cross between a munchkin and Alvin and the Chipmunks. The fact that she's already a professional dancer (hip-hop) makes her have an unfair edge in this competition. She may be good but I don't have to like her.

The only thing left to say at this point is what I've said before: They need to fire the costumers. If I see one more birds nest or slash-away stomach exposure I'm going to watch the competition in a blindfold. Which makes no sense but I am still trying to shake off the Britney Dream so you'll have to cut me some slack, this morning.

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