Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Since the breaking news about John Mark Karr and his connection or non-connection to the JonBenet Ramsey murder, I have found myself glued to Court TV.

From watching that and learning everything I never knew about DNA, I think I may fair well be on my way to becoming one of those HAND WASHERS. Because I can’t stand to touch the surfaces out in public places anymore, and I notice that when I come home from the store or anywhere, I wash my hands before touching my own stuff, and I don’t even want to touch food, even PACKAGED food without first washing up in case someone got dirty germs on it from handling it right before I got it. But now added to the mild case of germophobia I am suddenly aware of how much artifact DNA is floating around out there!

Because as we’ve seen, DNA is EVERYWHERE. People apparently leave their body parts on drink cups and straws, on Kleenex, on their bicycle seats and handlebars, on their Starbucks Venti Mocha coffee cups, you name it. The door handle of every Post Office, gas station, convenience store, etc; is RIFE with the LIVING DNA of everyone who ever touched it since time immemorial. Body Parts. They are leaving behind the CODE to their ENTIRE BODY. Spreading it around like it was Peanut Butter! Like it was NOTHING.

And we’ve got people screaming about stem cell research, saying it destroys human life, when they themselves just left a chunk of their Ancestral Slime on their Ticonderoga Pencil!!! Frankly, I just can’t wrap my mind around it. Can you?

I'll tell you one thing, if I ever get the chance to break up with somebody ever again, I can’t wait to yell at them as they flee the premises, “Get out of my Life and take your DNA with you!”

Monday, August 28, 2006

Apron #749

My friend sent me a pic of herself wearing the new apron I made for her out of the cat fabric she chose! It turned out very nice, if I do say so myself!

I sat up and watched the Emmy's last night and then wondered why I did so. I am glad Helen Mirren won a bunch of stuff for Elizabeth 1. And I thought Conan O'Brian was screamingly funny. But other than that, it seems to be a lot of people saying thank you to a lot of people. Hardly worth the 4 hours worth of commercial breaks they cram into a 2 hour show, if you ask me.

Friday, August 25, 2006


I ran across this picture of me with a doll I made a long time ago. I always have grand ideas to make the doll 'authentic' and do really wonderful clothing and accessories. In my mind I am Tasha Tudor, you know! In reality I am one lazy seamstress. But this doll turned out neat and I gave her to my cousin.
The doll had a real, life cameo pin from a set of earrings that had lost it's mate!
Yesterday while talking to my Mom on the phone, my phone battery went DAID! Daid as a Doornail! And I realized that particular cordless phone is about 5 years old and has it's original battery. So I thought I should just check out all the other battery type things like flashlights, lanterns and phones that might need some replacements. The main thing I discovered was my camping lantern was completely gone.
The next thing I discovered is that the battery for that costs $11.99 that's US dollars and too darn much! The rest of the stuff needing batteries will have to wait until after payday! As will my high-falutin' plans to buy enough fabric to make aprons for my entire family for Christmas. Sigh.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

You can't get good help these days!

Well, as you can see I had to change the background pink color to it's original white. I just got tired of looking at the pink, and pictures and text show up SO much better on the white.

You know how I have a hard time getting a decent cleaning lady. It fills up most of the time that an ordinary person would spend cleaning!

I also should confess that along with not doing my own housework if I can help it, I have a full time personal assistant! I've had him for ten years and he helps me in everything I need to do. He even helps me when I don't need the help.

One thing he thinks he is good at is being Assistant to the Seamstress. Here are some shots from yesterday depicting JUST how much help he likes to give:

Stretching the full length of the cutting board to assist in measuring.
Sniffing the cloth for quality and keeping a ready paw upon it so it doesn't go anywhere.
Hindering whenever necessary to insure that I measure properly before cutting.
Napping in the middle of the project to remind me to take ergonomic breaks.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Cutting up Books!

Don't Panic! I am not promoting the slaughter of innocent books! Not all books are made for reading, though, and one of my little fondnesses is for hoarding discontinued Wallpaper Books so I can cut them up and make things with the wonderful, thick, richly textured paper!

I make envelopes, cards, stationary, and wrapping paper out of these papers. I then use the book itself as an excellent, large, lap desk for making these crafts! How fun is THAT?

My all time favorite is my Mary Engelbreit wallpaper book, which over time is so covered in paint and scratch marks that it is no longer recognizable as an original M.E. But I've kept the insides intact because I just love looking at them!

I recently got a call (I have inside contacts! I have people!) from Home Depot telling me they had more books for discarding and I was there so fast I burned rubber!

Here are some of my newest acquisitions!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Popular Country Singer or Zombie Corpse?

First off, right off the bat, I want to say that I think Kenny Chesney is a corpse. For one thing, nobody has ever seen his face, it is far too shaded underneath that oversized cowboy hat he wears. So he could very well be just a rotting corpse skull under that hat. Secondly, have you ever noticed he is the exact color of pickled pigs feet? No living human is that color! No living TISSUE is that color. And Thirdly, he appears to be totally lacking in any body hair whatsoever. Okay, so maybe he just suffers from alopecia, but I think not. I submit for your approval the presumption of Zombie Corpse in the case of Kenny Chesney, Country Western Singer.

He totally creeps me out. And look how weird good old Bridget Jones Star, Renee Zellwegger, is, and even SHE divorced him.

I’m just saying, is all.

Secondly, I am soooo happy to be online FOR A CHANGE. It turns out that some Comcast technician unhooked my strong-signal cable and plugged it into someone elses' apartment, and hooked me up to a non-internet cable, just a plain cable like for regular TV people. They are supposed to put a purple tag on an internet-strength cable, and the purple tag was missing from mine! SO! We shall see, we shall just see.

Since I live in an apartment complex that has more short-term tenants than an old people's home, I don't have high hopes for my signal staying strong for any length of time. But at least now I know where to start when it goes wonky again!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Where's My Tiara?

I just love this picture. I'm the one slewed around in the chair crushing her Dixie Cup and looking both pissed and perplexed. What an expression! I seem to be saying, "Who are all these commmoners and why am I drinking tea out of a paper cup? Where's the Bone China? Where's the Linen? Where's the Silver Tea Service? The Three-Tiered Sandwich plate? Why am I not in the company of Duchesses and WHERE'S MY TIARA?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Death Bra

Those who have read all my past posts will know that I own a Death Sofa. A sofa that has deadly shredded springs that leap out at a person and impale them in bad places.

Well, I now have added a NEW implement of torture to my life. After all, it can't all just be about pretty antiques, vintage aprons and teapots, now can it?

Please Witness Exhibit A:
There is nothing like the sensation one gets while merrily drifting through ones day when suddenly a piercing agony is felt in the chest region akin to being stabbed with an ice pick. Mere centimeters from my left ventricle, no doubt! After much excavation this fiendish curved Ninja Wire was removed and photographed as evidence.
Oh, sure, my puncture wound will heal, but what can replace the loss of my delicious Frederick's Of Hollywood Rose Ice Pink Bra? A push-up bra with no underwire is cream without the ice. A mere pool of melted goo in a bowl. Which is what my left breast looks like when separated from it's mate by gravity and space. Who can walk around the planet with one breast at waist level and the other one up under the chin somewhere? It's not right! It's sick and wrong!
And all they had to replace it with was an orange sherbet colored bra. NOT THE SAME THING, people. My name is not Miss Orange Sherbet Ponsonby! Without a signature pink bra I may lose my ability to parse sentences and ponder the incongruities of the universe.
Well, alas, that is all that I have time for today. The internet service in my area has been down for 3 days and I have lots of catching up to do!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Do Crafters Dream of Electric Outlets?

Living in a small apartment, as I do, I am always lacking in enough electrical outlets. The few thatI have are covered by heavy furniture! And I have extension cords running every which way and still not enough plug-ins for my needs! Yesterday I made my little project and decided to set the sewing machine up in the guest room where the ironing board would be, to save myself time and energy, and the results was a steam bath in there! That back bedroom gets NO air circulation so I truly felt like I was in a sewing sweatshop of yore!

The results still turned out utterly charming if I do say so myself! My friend and neighbor Eliza stopped by just in time to act as dress mannequin!

Time for new batteries in the camera, I see. These are starting to look murky.

Next project: Cute jewel-tone cat fabric. My friend want's a kitty apron and I'm on a hunt for the desirable fabric for the project!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What's it going to be?

Yesterday, along with laundry and the duties of a prolific correspondent, I had to go to Walmart for Vacuum Cleaner Bags. Now, I don't exactly live next door to a Walmart, it takes some freeway driving and serious heavy-traffic maneuvering to get there. I try to time my visits to avoid lunch time rush hour and any other rush hours on the 5. And I usually like to wait until I have a whole list of items before I drive out there. But yesterday, I needed those vacuum cleaner bags! I bought that vacuum about 6 months ago and when I bought it, they were out of the bags that fit, so I've been using the one it came with all this time. The other day, when the vacuum died suddenly and I went into a deep emotional decline (not really!) I was quickly cheered up by the realization that the bag was so full it had shut down the warp-core Barillium Sphere before there was a rift in the space-time continuum. It's a nifty fail-safe device to keep the vacuum motor from over-heating but it didn't do a thing for my blood pressure.
Anyway! Walmart was YET AGAIN out of the "RR" vacuum cleaner bag although they seemed to have a double plethora of the "S" and "U" styles. Because I didn't see any reason to go all that way and come home empty handed, I swung by the fabric aisle and found this nifty little mod looking floral daisy print.
What's it going to be? You'll have to wait and see!
In the meantime, I found my bags at Target and made it home in time for tea.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

3 Tiered Tea Tray

If I was in charge of the universe, everyone would own a vintagey, charming 3 tiered tea serving plate. I just adore them! And of course in my universe, everyone would serve delectible goodies on all three tiers! No more wars and rumours of wars, for sure. Just everyone having a lovely tea break with nibbley cucumber sandwiches, chocolate and petit fours.

My 3 tiered tea server came from cousin Bobbie (seen stirring fudge in the last post) who shares my love of old and wonderful goodies. It was obviously made in ceramics class by a woman fond of puke yellow, but I love it just the same!

Since I am currently too busy to host tea parties on a daily basis, it has rather mutated itself to become a great holder for all my hand-made cards!

And here's Mackie, begging me to play and then napping when I decline. He's so darn cute, he should have a 3 tiered kitty serving dish of his own!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Caramel Kids

It is so brisk and chilly this morning I feel that Autumn is in the Air. Of course that's just my dementia talking. It's only the first week of August, and in this neck of the California Woods, it can be in the high 90's all through September. So we have a ways to go yet...

However, this morning I was thinking of Gramma's homemade caramels. Buttery-melty slippery delicious homemade candy. For years, the girl-cousins and myself have fiddled and faddled and fooled with her old recipe to try and make them for ourselves. Once in a while it works! Once in a while they turn out just fantastic.

When Gramma died, the older daughters decided it would be a good thing to have family cooking days, in which the art of noodle making, fudge-making, candy making and Christmas cookie making was shared and taught amongst the younger generation. Thus was born, "Noodle-O-Rama" "Fudge-O-Rama" and "Candy-O-Rama" days. Held in the old farmhouse still owned by the family because nobody can bare to part with the canning kitchen in the basement, these are wonderful day-long events of laughter, reminiscing and EATING.

Caramel Kids with a Successful Batch!

High Gloss Fudge!

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Dismal Blogger

I've suddenly become the most dismal blogger! Not a thought in my head and no new pictures, crafts, ideas, or home-things to photograph. I am sure I am suffering from used nicotine toxicity, which causes zombie-like brain functioning.

Here, at least, is the cute little dog-gone that I am taking care of along with his owner. I have become quite a fan of Westies, now, after being with him 24 hours a day for a while now. He has the best temperment, the sweetest disposition, and seems totally incapable of learning a single command. Sit. Stay. Heel. Fetch. Come. All of them, mere words tossed into the wind. He can chase squirrels REAL good though.
See how dark his owners house is? It's very gloomy, no wonder I have become creatively challenged.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Toeless in Sacramento

Oh, I just hate it when life keeps me from writing about life! I've just been utterly busy and adjusting to the new work schedule and not had time to write and when I did, no motivation! My new client is a pistol: she refuses to eat vegetables, she says she has had enough of them to last a lifetime, and confines her nutrition to penut butter and jelly sandwiches, half a banana and macaroni and cheese. This is supplemented with those vile "Ensure" type vitamin drinks for the elderly which are pure sugar. Yuck! The fact that she expects me to wait on her hand and foot like a ladies maid, including putting the toothpaste on her toothbrush for her is another story entirely...

In the meantime, I got a very pretty PINK pedicure and promptly stubbed my big toe and tore the toenail half off! I'm not kidding! I'd show you but it's not for the squeamish.