Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Conspiracy Realities

That's right! It's not a conspiracy theory it's a conspiracy REALITY.

You know how I 'outed' a certain secret organization in my previous post?


The very next morning my car radio antenna was GONE! Vanished! POOF! STOLEN!!!!

I'm not kidding! It wasn't snapped off the way vandals do it, it was unscrewed from it's seating.

It's like they were sending a message: Talk about us again and you will lose more than your antenna ball...you'll lose the whole antenna!

So my lips are sealed!

Friday, March 06, 2009

Jack Ball Where Are You?

Today I was watching a Jack in the Box commercial and I told my friend that all the Jack balls I've ever had have gotten stolen from my antenna.

He said, "So have mine!"

We pondered this for a moment.

Where do they all go? Is it just one person who is stealing them? Or is there an entire army of Jack in the Box Antenna Ball Thieves? Do they move about in stealth and darkness, harvesting the Jack balls in sweeping phalanxes? Are there secret storage facilities deep within the bowels of some desert mountain range overflowing with holding tanks stuffed with pilfered Jack balls?

I'm probably endangering myself by asking such questions in an open forum like this, so I'll quickly yet subtly change the subject.

I have been learning to see out of my new trifocals. I never knew until now what a bobblehead I must be. Any slight movement and the world spins, my stomach churns with butterflies and I fall over. Alas, I seem to be in motion every moment of the day. Even sitting perfectly still looking into the optometrists eyes as he told me I just had to be patient while I get used to them , I was watching the world swirling and spinning out of focus.

And all I was doing was listening attentively!

Here is a picture of me with my new lenses:

See what I mean? The world is TOTALLY out of focus right now.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Cat Manners

There are good guest manners and good hostess manners. And then there are Pet Manners which seem to be a credo unto themselves.

I recently had a house guest for a few days. No, I didn't put a fresh raw fish in her room, but I did put fresh flowers. (After a week the fish stinks and the guest is driven from the residence.) But if I HAD put a fresh raw fish in her room, perhaps my cat would have treated her with less disdain.

I've never seen anything like it, as a matter of fact! He lets you know how he FEELS about you, one way or the other. He either comes on over to be petted and admired or bites you to register disapproval.

Poor Bee just got the cat equivalent of 'talk to the hand'! He wouldn't look at her, acknowledge her, or join us when we were doing fun things with paper. Nada, Zip, Zilch. He wanted nothing to do with her.

Since she is a big cat lover, donates to Big Cat animal rescue charities and has owned many, many cats over the course of her life, this was a big mystery to both of us!

I finally came to the conclusion that he simply didn't wish to acknowledge her because he didn't want her moving in with us. Don't ask me why he thought she might or why I think that's what he thought. I just do.

This is the face he showed for the whole 4 days! How Rude!

The flowers I had put in her room were astroemeria. I don't usually buy them because they look like lilies and lilies remind me of funerals, but these were so pretty and at $3.99 a bunch, much more within my budget than the dozen yellow roses I would have chosen had I won the lottery.

Although my friend has been gone for a week, the flowers have lasted until this morning. I was so pleased with how long they lasted I bought myself some more!

Oh, wait. There's no cat in the picture...

That's better.

I deny all allegations of guest cruelty!

Monday, March 02, 2009

The Ides of March

Yes, it's March and it's time for the March Winds. I holed up for the weekend and played in the Rubber Room (yes, like in an insane asylum! But also the place I keep my rubber stamps).

I decided it was time to make new place holders for my card organizer. The old ones were just flimsy poster paper and had gotten rather dog-eared. I decided to layer some colored card stock and take the time to print out labels.

The Padawan Paper Apprentice opted for holing up as well.