Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Moses, Moses, Moses!

Well, did anybody else besides me think the New Ten Commandments was the lamest production to come out of tvland since the gamut of Reality Show TV began? I thought this 'updated' version of the old classic was so paltry and pathetic!

Moses came across as some kind of sulky and verbally repressed psychopath who hears voices in his head and thinks it's God! He had no command of presence whatsoever! Never once did I think he was Divinely Inspired. I got the impression they didn't want to take liberties and put words in his mouth that he never really said, but then why did they constantly put him in situations where he was asked questions and he had to stand there like a brooding bumpkin? Like when his brother asked him Why God had killed his son, too. And when Moses was approached by that Princess person just trying to get a little closure on her love. None of that was Biblical to begin with, so why bother if you aren't going to make it help further the plot line along?

The special effects were SAD! In this new age of amazing technology, you'd think they could have done better on the Passover scene than that silly puff of smoke in the alleyways! I thought someone was standing off-camera toking on a Lucky Strike!

And the plague of frogs? Hello? I think I counted 3 of them sitting on a windowsill! Kermit has more fear-power than those cute little critters. And the locusts? A close up of some grasshoppers is what it looked like to me!

And Pharoah! Did he have alopecia AND vitiligo? And what was with him dragging his 4 year old son Seti around in his arms like he was a baby mummy? That kid could walk. Set him down!

Okay, they made the crossing of the Red Sea (or was it the Dead Sea? I forget) seem really intense and cool, but when they cut to the top of the ridge where Moses was standing there waving his staff in the air, waving like he just didn't care...well, that was when I started to laugh so hard.

Since there were so many commercial breaks I couldn't keep my attention span on the story, I simply went to bed while everyone was stumbling over rocks and getting their legs all bloody on the seabed. I'm guessing they made it okay.

I'm sorry they gave The Ten Commandments such short shrift. I'm sorry they left out the part where Aaron threw down the staff and ate the snakes of the Pharoah's gods.

Who can forget the imposing and grey haired Charlton Heston standing before Ramses and proclaiming, "Let My People Go!" ? So much of the majesty and power of the original movie was just dwindled down to "Moses has the Vapors"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh golly....I forgot all about that movie! Guess I didn't miss a thing. I see the rest of it is on tonight, just in case you Really want to know how it turned out....hehehe!!!

Queen Q