Thursday, April 27, 2006

Let yourself Go!

Yesterday, along with finding that Little Red Cosco chair and dooming myself to sing "Little Red Corvette" by Prince for the rest of the day and night, I also had a fun conversation with Whatsername* , my cute neighbor from the end of the building. *not her real name

I had not been home long from Target when there was a knock on the door and she was standing there needing to use my powder room and phone. That newly arrived-from-school-in-Uganda boyfriend of hers had her keys and her cell phone and had taken off to a sports bar to watch the World Cup Race.

Poor Whatsername! Living in the same zip code with this guy is going to be a challenge, but I hope they make it. I told her I'd rather have a Brazilian Wax than ever share my abode with a man again. So naturally we got on the subject of body maintenance. She told me she always gets a Brazilian Wax because anything else is just cruel and unsanitary. Since I can barely bring myself to shave my legs these days and think the next time I wax something will be when my mustache starts to grow in, which at this rate will be very soon since it's been 2 months since my last period but only 2 minutes since my last hot flash, I can only shake my head in wonder at this metrosexual generation before me. They all appear to be anti-pube for some reason.

She and Eliza * ** *not her real name **my other hip young neighbor both spend a good deal of their spare time and spare income at various spas and salons. They get their eyebrows waxed, facials, honey dips (WHAT is a honey dip?) mud scrubs and of course hair cuts and color.

And I feel bad about myself.These girls look like they are fresh, well-maintained and pretty all the time. There is no doubt that I've just let myself go, and not in a Freedom kind of way. I just look like someone who sloughs off a skin layer once a year by way of flaking during the dry season.

But there is no use crying over spilled wax. I couldn't afford that salon lifestyle! I can barely afford the "Keep a roof over your head and food on the table" lifestyle.

And besides, if it comes down to buying things like a red reproduction retro kitchen step stool by Cosco or having my body hair yanked out by the roots, I will glady remain one of the Great Unwaxed.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

*in the computer lab trying not to laugh too loud*
Zeb

Anonymous said...

Since I can barely bring myself to shave my legs these days and think the next time I wax something will be when my mustache starts to grow in, which at this rate will be very soon.......

Dang, woman you made me spray pasta all over my computer screen. I know, I know...shouldn't be eating at the computer. LOL
Your southern friend.