Yesterday, along with finding that Little Red Cosco chair and dooming myself to sing "Little Red Corvette" by Prince for the rest of the day and night, I also had a fun conversation with Whatsername* , my cute neighbor from the end of the building. *not her real name
I had not been home long from Target when there was a knock on the door and she was standing there needing to use my powder room and phone. That newly arrived-from-school-in-Uganda boyfriend of hers had her keys and her cell phone and had taken off to a sports bar to watch the World Cup Race.
Poor Whatsername! Living in the same zip code with this guy is going to be a challenge, but I hope they make it. I told her I'd rather have a Brazilian Wax than ever share my abode with a man again. So naturally we got on the subject of body maintenance. She told me she always gets a Brazilian Wax because anything else is just cruel and unsanitary. Since I can barely bring myself to shave my legs these days and think the next time I wax something will be when my mustache starts to grow in, which at this rate will be very soon since it's been 2 months since my last period but only 2 minutes since my last hot flash, I can only shake my head in wonder at this metrosexual generation before me. They all appear to be anti-pube for some reason.
She and Eliza * ** *not her real name **my other hip young neighbor both spend a good deal of their spare time and spare income at various spas and salons. They get their eyebrows waxed, facials, honey dips (WHAT is a honey dip?) mud scrubs and of course hair cuts and color.
And I feel bad about myself.These girls look like they are fresh, well-maintained and pretty all the time. There is no doubt that I've just let myself go, and not in a Freedom kind of way. I just look like someone who sloughs off a skin layer once a year by way of flaking during the dry season.
But there is no use crying over spilled wax. I couldn't afford that salon lifestyle! I can barely afford the "Keep a roof over your head and food on the table" lifestyle.
And besides, if it comes down to buying things like a red reproduction retro kitchen step stool by Cosco or having my body hair yanked out by the roots, I will glady remain one of the Great Unwaxed.