Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Mazel Toffee!!!!

Apparently my mind has nothing better to do than to think up exciting new names for things! Like, yesterday I decided it would be just darling to have a kosher candy company and you could name it Mazel Toffee! It's probably been done already, sigh!

Anyway, one of the little old men I work for eats a half an ear of corn on the cob and a lamb chop every supper. I don't know why he eats this, but his daily caregiver buys lamb chops by the dozen and keeps them in the freezer, along with packaged frozen corn on the cob. This is the same gentleman who has a strawberry-jelly sandwich and one radish EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE for lunch. Because that is what his mom packed in his lunchbox every day that he went to school and every day for 40 years when he worked in a factory. So that's the habit pattern, and he's sticking with it.

I'll tell you, when I'm 97 I'm eating lobster one day and king crab legs the next. At that point do I really care if my cholesterol is skyrocketing? I don't THINK so!

But the last time I was there, I served him his dinner and he looked at me with utter contempt. Because I had forgotten to put these on the ends of his corn!

Because, really, what kind of moron eats corn on the cob without nifty corn-cob holders? So this little incident caused me to have an ah-ha moment: I don't own any corn on the cob holders! I don't know how this has happened! After all, I have ever kitchen gadget ever invented included TWO different kinds of carrot peeler! A horizontal one and a vertical one! If there was a perpendicular one, I'd buy it FOR SURE.

And since I just bought a bag of sweet corn while I was up on Slough house Road this last weekend, I decided there was no better time to go out and find me a 98 Cent store and purchase some corn-on-the-cob holders!

But first I had to go pick up my reading glasses from Miss Kitty's house where I left them. When she learned that I was going to buy corn on the cob holders, she proceeded to give me in-depth, detailed instructions about what kind to buy and what kind to avoid.

Apparently these little wooden handle ones are 'cheapy' and the prongs are poorly designed.

To illustrate her points about corn-cob holders, she went into the kitchen, pulled open the bottom drawer and Lo! and Behold! I saw TWO SHOE BOXES full of corn on the cob holders. I'm not even exaggerating! She had dozens and dozens of them, heaped up high and overflowing. She had silver ones and decorative ones and the ubiquitous corn-shaped ones. And she had a bazillion of the ones that she hates the most: the wooden handled ones.

I was pretty stunned. She's not really a hoarder, but for some reason she is clinging onto every single corn on the cob holder she's ever acquired. Since I know for a fact that she isn't going to be giving any large shrimp-and-corn boil parties anytime ever for the rest of her life, I was rather expecting her to say, "Pick out a pair and you can have them. In fact, take ALL the ones that have the wooden handles, they are useless!" But no! Sarcastic humor flows in her veins, but never let it be said that she has any generosity in there. After looking lovingly at the warehoused corn implements, we closed up the shoeboxes, shut the drawer and tip-toed out of the kitchen.

Something about that incident made me realize I don't need corn on the cob holders, after all.


Janet said...

This made me laugh out loud! First the candy company name is perfect-o! Then the story about the holder hoarder was just too funny but the little piggy corn holders is my favorite part of this post!!

Miss Pink Ponsonby said...

:-) Aw, thanks! I couldn't resist those piggy corn holders, either! Mazel Toffee!!!!!!