Thursday, August 23, 2007


When I was about 16, my brother went to Australia to seek fame, fun and fortune. When he returned he brought me an opal cabochon that he had purchased directly from the opal mine. It was a blue-green opal, and so bright and fiery! He told me that it had a tiny flaw in it, and that was to remind me that I wasn't perfect, either.

Well, I wore that ring every day of my life until my fingers got too fat to wear it. And I got a lot of mileage out of telling that story. I loved the humbling aspect of a daily reminder that I wasn't perfect either, no matter how shiny and fiery I looked.

Until one day I was telling that story to a jeweler. And he said something awesome to me that forever changed my definition of a flaw. He said, "But gems are never flawed. We call those things 'inclusions.'"

"Do you mean as in "it's included in the price?"

"Yes, it's included in the value of the gem. It's part of it's intrinsic make-up, not a flaw at all."

WOW. So all these years I was happily flawed, and now I've morphed into having inclusions of value in my character!?! I love it.

This came up for me recently, when I was discussing with someone a particular thing that had annoyed him about me. I thought about it and had to tell him the truth: This thing that bothers you isn't really the kind of thing I can change. I'm stuck with it. I can work around it, but it's hard-wired into me and I've reached a stage where I won't willingly morph my DNA to please a man....or anyone else for that matter. I told him if he could just count that thing that bothered him as amongst the inclusions in my character that made me a real person and not a fantasy, then we were good to go.

Like my opal ring, I have value JUST AS I AM, and also like my opal ring, I get more valuable as time goes on. Neat, huh?


westcoastdiva said...

Hi there:) I read you through Irisheyes, and liked what you had to say about profanity not being protected by the first ammendment.

However -- I have to disagree a little -- It can be, depending upon the circumstances and context. There is no general exception for profanity under the First Amendment unless the profanity qualifies as "fighting words." Fighting words are defined as words that by their very nature incite an immediate breach of the peace.

So in this instance, the jack rabbit that used the F-bomb in front of Irisheyes daughter -- them would be fighting words:)

Your writing is great:) may I add you? I do warn you I do curse in my blog.

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Great post and a beautiful ring...Sandy