Sink-O the Mayo!

Today, boys and girls, is the famous Mexican Independance Day Holiday known as Cinqo de Mayo. It's like our 4th of July only instead of picnics, sparklers and fireworks displays, they put huge dollops of mayonaisse into vats of tequila and then lob limes into it, to try and sink the mayo. It's a big deal in California, and most Mexican restaurants have Cinqo De Mayo parties featuring 2 for one margaritas all day long, with a free side of mayo with thier chips and salsa.

Yesterday, which was Quattro De Mayo, also known as the day all the Mexicans gather up all their quarters and use them to buy the big jars of Mayo they will need for their holiday fiestas, I had an appointment at the County Clinic to FINALLY find out the results of my MRI.

You may remember back into the dim past of the First Week of April when I had an MRI. I never found out the results! After a while I got tired of waiting to learn if my head was going to explode I went into the clinic to see if I could get an appointment. I was told that I had an appointment scheduled for the 30th of May and I asked that it be moved up sooner. So the lady kindly gave me an appointment for the 4th of May to find out the results of my test. That was back in mid-April and I duly noted it on my calendar so I would be sure and remember to show up for my appointment.

Yesterday I had to stand in line behind several people toting giant grocery bags full of Hellman's, but eventually it was my turn at the window to check in for my appointment. Except I was not allowed to check in for my appointment because my appointment did not exist! It had been miraculously expunged from the computer, just like the blood of the martyrs was expunged from the cloth of Our Lady of the White Mantle. American Catholics won't have heard of her, but she's a famous Mexican Saint. Long story, but you pray to her when you want things to dissapear without a trace and never blemish your character or your clothing again. Great for tomato sauce stains and sneaking across borders undetected.

Anyway, the lady behind the 3 inch thick bullet proof plate glass told me that I must be mistaken, I did NOT have an appointment for yesterday because that doctor isn't even in on Fridays. I told her I had the appt. card to prove it, and she pettishly said, "Well, I don't know where you got that card but you are not in the computer." I wanted to snark at her that I conjured it like a miracle out of my own ass because I was bored and lonely and just LOVED to hang out in the county health clinic for hours at a time for no reason whatsoever but I decided to let it go.

So I asked if it would be possible to schedule an appointment to find out the results of my MRI before Feliz Navidad of 2009 and she said, "Hmmmm. It says here that you are scheduled on the 30th and the 23rd for appointments. The one on the 23rd is to see the results of your MRI and the one on the 30th is for MRI follow-up."

I don't know why I got double booked and neither date coincides with the one I was given but she was not happy that I had two appointments in the month of May. I told her to confirm the one for the 23rd and we'll just see if, when I show up on that day, I am told to come back on the 30th de Mayo.

So I wish you all a Happy Mexican Independance Day and I'm off to the store for a quart of tequila and a large jar of Mayo, some chicken breasts and some limes. I'll post pictures later of my El Pollo Limon de Mayo in Tequila Salsa dish!