But after all the preliminaries like checking for glaucoma and dilating my pupils and all that, when he shone the light in my eye he muttered, "SHEESH!"
Did you just say Sheesh? I asked.
Yes, he said. I cannot even get the light to shine through the membrane! Needless to say I got the 'cataract surgery is safe but you've got a 2 percent chance of blindness and dementia, etc; lecture, along with a strong recommendation that I take the chance and have the surgery. I told him I'd take that chance and how soon could we do it?
I should back up for a moment here and mention that I've worn contact lenses since I was about 14 years old. My eyesight is so poor that normal glasses just don't work for me. For one thing, pop-bottle bottom lenses are nothing compared to the -9 power myopia I have. So when I go in for an exam and they have me take my contacts out, I am literally in a blind fog. I have no idea what the room looks like, where any objects are located, and I can only figure out what is what because I am not color blind and can discern gradiations and shapes.
It's an odd truth that humans do most of their listening with their eyes. No kidding, we need to read lips in order to get full comprehension of most things, especially new information. So when Dr. Peabody started to explain the surgery options to me, I excused myself and put my contact lenses back in so I could hear what the hell he was saying.
And, Lo to my wandering eyes should appear but the spitting image of Steven Colbert!
Right down to the quirked eyebrow and the sarcastical turn of his lip. I was enchanted, of course!
With every good there must first be a whole lot of bad that precedes it, that is what I'm coming to believe about life, and the bad that comes before the good of having my eyesight restored in at least my right eye is that for the next 3 weeks I must be blind entirely. I need to take my contacts out to let the cornea resolve itself into it's natural shape in order for the surgery to get the best measurment and best eyesight possible for my future vision.
And believe me, you don't know vulnerable until you've wandered around blind. It's a freaky experience.
One thing is for certain sure...now would not be a good time to hop in the car with a plastic baggie full of white flour and another of green tea up on the dashboard.