Trailer Trash Tudors!

I just finished watching Disc 1 of the Showtime Series "The Tudor's" Starring Jonathon Rhys-Meyers. I was gagging and retching through the entire thing! I actually went and cancelled the rest of the discs in the series because watching them would be a waste of my time.

I know by now not to expect an historically accurate rendering of facts, garments or props, but this production went beyond my lowered expectations! It was the Trailer Trash Tudors!

I could go into a Tudor Tantrum about how much this plot-less mess sucked. But I won't.

It's not worth the energy to lambaste the lingerie-based costumes (or lack of! Everyone seems determined to spend at least 15 minutes of airtime naked from the waist up, especially the women), the total lack of historical accuracy or the shallow portrayals of what were fascinating, multi-faceted and sometimes deeply flawed individuals.

Instead, I'll just do a visual sum-up of this too-modern soulless mess

Here we have "Margaret" Tudor. Actually, her name was Mary, Margaret was her older sister but why let facts like that get in the way? Showtime's "The Tudor's" had Margaret romping around without headgear in off-shoulder Scarlet O'Hara outfits throwing bitch-fits while acting slutty and haughty...one presumes in order to depict that she was royal? And regal? In the tv show she marries the King of Portugal and then smothers him with a pillow in his bed.

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What IS this???

The REAL Mary Tudor was beloved of her brother Henry, and was married to the King of France. Not Portugal. No murder was committed and when he died a natural death she returned home to marry Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk in a private wedding ceremony. She lived happily ever after until she died.

By all accounts she was a sweet, seemly Tudor woman of her day: pious, chaste and good.

Here she is in her wedding portrait with Charles Brandon: I think this says it all.

Becoming Agitated: A Movie Review

As an early birthday present, I was given a membership to Netflix! I was so delirious I instantly watched one of the free online movies because I intend to take FULL advantage of all the free movies even if watching them online means they are herky-jerky and the sound gets funky.

What do I care? It's not like I watch Action Flicks!

And my first movie was Becoming Jane starring Anne Hathaway. Now, I happen to like her. She's clean and wholesome and has lovely eyes and lips and a very clear complexion. I could imagine her playing the role of the young Jane Austen with dignity and style. And she did, for the most part. But....and this is a BIG BUTT...

For the entire movie she seemed to be the only person dressed in Napoleonic 1810 period clothing. Everyone else was dressed in clothing from the late 1700's. And believe me, those 10-20 years makes a HUGE difference, just as it does today. Picture yourself walking down the street in full 1980's regalia and you will see instantly what I mean. Because in the 80's I wore purple tuxedo jackets with the sleeves shoved up to my elbows, black stretch-pants tights and high-collar silk shirts with giant brooches.

So instead of looking like THIS:

She looked like This:

Even though the costumer got it right for everyone else, they just HAD to make poor Jane stick out like a sore thumb. I guess they wanted her to look like Keira Knightley in Pride and Prejudice who seemed to spend the entire movie stomping around in an old bathrobe and a gauze stick-dress with no chemise:

What is UP with that???

At the ball Jane looked like THIS: Notice how in the background the other guests are dressed in the same era clothing which is obviously NOT the era Jane is dressed from!

And sitting on the Front Porch we have THIS:

There's Jane, schlumped in the background with hideous posture and no corset. She should be looking like THIS on an outing such as a family picnic or to watch the fellas play cricket:

But instead, she seems to be wearing the 1795 version of the string bikini:

Spaghetti Straps and a white cotton undershirt???

Don't even get me started on the hair.

Jane Austen was born in 1775 and died at 47 years of age in 1817. She would have been wearing her hair like this, for the most part, as well as dressed like this: But instead, at the end of the movie, they had Anne Hathaway's Jane wearing THIS EXACT HAIRDO:

So I hated the movie.