Thursday, May 03, 2012

Apo-Calypso Chapter 5

*** Chapter 5 Day 3

Dell woke and stretched. She sat up in the elevated platform bed on the third floor of Macy’s and looked across the sales floor at the lump that was Panda, sound asleep on another bed surrounded by Ralph Lauren linens. The Tommy Hilfiger bedding she had slept in was luxurious and beautiful. She could stay there forever if she didn’t have to pee so badly. She had always wanted to sleep in a store like a queen after everyone had left! She had often imagined hiding in a broom closet somewhere until all the shoppers had left and the store was closed so she could do just that. Of course once security cameras were invented and installed everywhere, it was no longer even remotely a possibility.

Like any decent female with half a bladder, she had already scoped out all the nearest available bathrooms before crawling into bed.  Now she got up--her head pinging  only slightly from the Scotch--and padded off to the powder room in the adorable pink silk pjs she had gotten off the rack the night before. She then bopped down the escalator to the coffee kiosk on the ground floor and started a fresh pot of coffee. While it was brewing she picked out undies, a bra, and a really smokin’ pair of jeans and a designer t-shirt for the day. She would accessorize later.

She stuffed all her choices in a bag and grabbed 2 very lovely 3 day old scones from the display case. Along with 2 large cups of coffee she headed back up the escalator to wake Panda.

Panda was already awake and choosing a luxury towel ensemble to take with her to the shower. When she saw the coffee and scones she stopped what she was doing and plopped down on a bed with a bed tray. “Oh, wow! Room service!” she smiled. “A girl could get used to this!” Together they sat cross legged amidst fluffy designer pillows and enjoyed their breakfast.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” asked Dell.

“Well,” said Panda around bites of scone and sips of coffee with cream, “Let’s go down to the other end of the mall to the 28 Hour Fitness and use their showers. We can snag some hair products from Hair Mess Inc. on our way.”

“Okay. And then let’s come back here for make-up and perfume,” added the ever-eager-to-shop Dell. “And some jewelry.”

“Good idea!” said Panda. “Once we look like we are ready for the runway, we should go take care of the gun thing. I really don’t want you walking around without protection. Wild animals  are always going to be a factor from now on out. 

Also, now we know there is at least one other person in this city and he or she is armed. We should stay out of the Land Park neighborhood for a while, stick by our own turf. Give those lions time to head out onto the tundra so to speak.

 I want to see about activating some spare cell phones for us to use and we should just take one vehicle out to the chicken farm. I’m thinking we may find a large transport truck out there. I am wondering if we should relocate whatever chickens we can find left alive to some place in the city that is closer where we can keep an eye on them? I’d really like to be able to keep having eggs you know? And chickens are not so smart they can survive out in the wild. Everything eats chickens…”

Dell sighed. As Panda continued with her signature run-on  control freak blather, her idea of an elegantly dressed morning suddenly gave sway to a vision of herself covered in chicken shit and feathers loading ill and squawking chickens into the back of a poultry truck.  Guess I better grab some Reeboks, she thought. 

The Louboutins would have to wait for another day. 



Anonymous said...

What are "Louboutins"?

Miss Pink Ponsonby said...

Google them, my dear! It's a reference to the 'IT' shoe of all shoes. They are famous for having a red sole. Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City collects them. Very expensive.