Thursday, May 10, 2012

Apo-Calypso Chapter 5 Part 6

Chapter 5 part 6

As a matter of fact, the crematorium turned out to be quite user friendly. There was another body there, in a body bag, lined up at the double doors of the oven. The girls hoisted the old lady inside her cocoon of sheets and Hefty bags onto the top of the body bag. Nobody grunted or anything, so they knew the person was really dead.  Together they watched as the conveyer belt moved into the oven. The doors slid shut automatically and a red button lit up that, once pushed, fired up the ovens. Both Panda and Dell felt they could take it on faith that the oven had an automatic shut off when the deed was done.

“Ashes to ashes. Dust to Dust.” said Dell.

Utterly weary now that the adrenaline and shock had worn off, they dragged themselves back to the Chevy and returned to their trucks. Even so they decided to finish up the next couple of blocks before calling it a day. It would feel good to find some live kitties and pigs to feed and let out of the house.

Eventually Dell pulled over at a 4 SALE sign outside of a midsize brick Tudor with a steep hipped roof. “Oh I just love this house!” she said. “I want to take a look at this one!”  She ran up the walk to the front door and then stopped. “Oh no!” she said! “It’s Locked!”

Panda knew right away what Dell meant. This house was for sale and therefore locked and empty with one of those Realtor Lock boxes on the front door holding the house key. But without the code to open the little lockbox they were unable to get indoors. Luckily she had her bolt cutters. She thought she might be able to just crush the box with the bolt cutters once she cut it off the door.  Meanwhile Dell was peering in all the windows she could see into and exclaiming at the lovely space inside.

It was easier than she had thought to get that lock box open. Positioning the cutters to nip off the combination was all it took to open the little door on the gadget. Inside were the front door keys. So much better than smashing in windows and having to deal with replacing them later. A good idea to do as little damage as possible in a world without handymen! She had no clue how to replace plate glass.

She unlocked the front door and handed the keys to Dell. “Make sure you make extra copies of these keys! I’d like a set too just in case.” She stood back and let Dell enter the foyer of her new home.

It really was a beautiful home. Wide plank hardwood floors, lofty ceilings, good light from the windows all around. The kitchen was any woman’s dream with of all things, a pizza oven as well as double ovens and an 8 range burner. Best of all it was gas with a gas fireplace and hot water heater.  The master bedroom had a walk-in tile shower large enough to fit a basketball team. Dell could feel herself inhabiting this space and being truly, truly happy here.

“Of course it’s empty, Dell.” Nudged Panda. “Utterly empty and in need of serious furniture…”

Dell looked at Panda. Panda looked at Dell. Together they screamed:



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