Monday, December 03, 2007

Love/Hate on the Squeaks and Creaks Highway

There is a love/hate relationship going on around here and it's with my spray can of WD40. I love the stuff! It loosens bolts, unlocks doors, greases and degreases, and it smells good, too.

In this old apartment where I live, the cabinets have long ago lost all their closing mechanisms. But I've never had any problems with keeping the doors closed; they just seem to stay shut by gravity or the tilt of the building or perhaps centrifugal force.

But because I am an early riser (like 2 or 3:00 am early) I am aware that when I go puttering around in my kitchen at that time of the morning my hinges squeak and grown and shriek! I live in fear that the Partying Dykes next door will report me for infringing on the 'loud and raucous' clause in the lease.

So the other morning I just decided that I wasn't going to skulk around any longer and live in fear: I was going to take the WD40 to every hinge in the kitchen.

It required bending, stooping, reaching, climbing on rickety chairs and scootching across the counter top on my agonized kneecaps, but I got the job done! And Viola! Not a screeching cabinet hinge to be heard. I love you WD40!

When Suddenly! In the middle of the night or the light of the full noon day when I stand in my kitchen and turn in any direction I can decapitate myself, put out an eye, slice open my scalp or break a leg because now all the cabinet doors swing open just for the silent fun of it! All through the kitchen the cupboard doors swing open with nary a care and with total abandon. WD40 I hate you!

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