Happy Birthday To Me! The Big 50.

Well, It is 5:32 in the morning as I write this and in 2 hours exactly the phone will ring and my Mom will say, "50 years ago at this minute you took your first breath in the world! It was a rainy autumn day and the leaves were gold." Because, you know, the weather report at the moment of your birth is an important detail not to be forgotten! That always cracks me up, I have no idea what the significance is! But I love it anyway.

So, here I am savoring the last 2 hours of my footloose, fancy free and immature 40's. Must knuckle down, I suppose, now that I'll be 50. Start scoping out to see who gives the Senior Discounts to those 50 and older. Must take on the Mantle of Maturity and all that. Hope it's pink satin and is lined with rose floral chintz with an Ermine Collar! I'd wear a Mantle of Maturity if it looked like that!

In honor of this Important Birthday of 50, I've compiled a list of 50 Things About Me: Enjoy!


50 Things About Me

1. I won’t kill a spider! I have to trap them and turn them loose outside.
2. If it’s PINK, I love it automatically.
3. I have never completely overcome my aversion to the smell of sweat and gym class and cannot bring myself to exercise!
4. I am an absolute pig in the kitchen, and I hate to clean up my own spills.
5. I’ve always wanted to have ‘people’ to do things for me! “I have people to pick out my clothes.”
6. I love crows. REALLY love crows.
7. I fantasize endlessly about decorating and designing houses.
8. I long for my old, fit body but not my old, fit brain! Because I can't remember it!
9. I see dead people! Really, I’m not kidding. They’re everywhere…
10. I am not as fond of people as they think I am.
11. I struggle with a wee case of agoraphobia. I have to FORCE myself to leave the house, even when it’s to do something fun.
12. I love carnivals of any sort and always want to go and ride the Tilt-O-Whirl.
13. I watch movies the second and third time around so I can look at JUST the costumes and the sets! I look at the wallpaper, the china, what is sitting on the end tables, etc;
14. If I could, I would live my whole life in my pajamas.
15. I hate coffee mugs. It's a proper cup and saucer, for me!
16. I refuse to wear a ‘logo’ hat or tee-shirt and give anyone free advertising!
17. If my feet aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Pedicures and comfortable footwear are a must!
18. I smell everything.
19. I try never to nurse a grudge.
20. I won’t own anything that is ‘too good to use’.
21. I eat off the ‘good china’ every day.
22. I can’t stand plastic and try not to have any of it in my house.
23. I almost drowned twice.
24. I love Asti Spumanti, especially the pink kind!
25. I actually prefer my pizza cold for breakfast the next day.
26. I am trying to break myself of the habit of using a BIG word when a simple little word will do just as well.
27. I think organized religion and excess religiosity are nothing but superstitious hoopla.
28. I am not afraid to be lazy and prefer it over being hyper.
29. I want to walk out my front door someday and just keep walking. Really. And not stop till I get to Tierra Del Fuego.
30. My biggest fantasy is to buy little houses and fix them up and give them to people.
31. Sports and sporting events of every kind bore me to sobs.
32. I am not the least bit interested in children or their accomplishments.
33. I have a crush on Tony Blair. You know, the British P.M.
34. I like my own company the best and prefer to be alone most of the time.
35. I would love to ‘time-travel’.
36. I hate the ocean. I don’t like the sound, the smell, the sand, the beach! I want nothing to do with it! (Except of course the food that comes out of it!)
37. I have never had enough oysters. I’d like to eat my weight in them and walk away smiling.
38. My secret indulgence is to take a nap whenever possible.
39. The Day after I graduated from High School I boarded a Greyhound bus for New York City! “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere..”
40. I once built a cement pond by hand in New Jersey. Dug the whole thing with a shovel and poured the concrete and everything. I even stocked it with fish.
41. I like bananas because they have no bones.
42. I am a licensed Esthetician.
43. I was briefly engaged to a Kuwaiti Prince.
44. All my ‘scratch cakes’ come from a box mix.
45. I still have pen pals! More than 8 regular ones, in fact.
46. I was born with my left foot turned around backwards and I’ve been coming AND going every since. No kidding! I was in a cast until I was two and a half.
47. I traveled across Mexico with 100 bucks and one straw bag in my possession. One pair of shoes, one broom skirt, one whole winter. Best trip I ever took!
48. I make my own soap the old fashioned way with lye.
49. I still want to see Paris, Venice, Old Vienna and dip my toes in the Ganges. Someday.
50. I am not ready to ‘settle down’ yet. Maybe never.