Monday, February 06, 2006

Bargain Brains?

I went to get my brains out of storage today, I decided it was time to take them out for a spin, and I realized I don't have the combination. I'm going to abandon them as flotsam and just start over with new ones, at rock bottom prices, maybe from Mervyn's or Ross or even Target. Anyone with spare, unused, servicable brains they aren't going to need or don't want anymore are welcome to contact me with an offer. I'd like to avoid an old crank-brain, since those are full of holes, and anything too rigid or ossified won't be a good fit for me.

Since taking myself off Zoloft (after only 5 days on it) 3 days ago, I feel like a new person! Or like my same, old self, without the vibration, headache, anxiety and distress. I think that is not the pill for me.

Today I had a dental appointment over at the dental college. That is such a cool place! Of course they take 2 hours to clean only one quarter of your mouth and you leave there feeling like perhaps you could have done it yourself a bit quicker with a pick-axe, a garden hose and a sledgehammer. But it's worth it for 18 dollars!

Now, around here, what with governmental offices opening at 8 or 9, 6 in the morning is still pretty early for anybody to be out and about, so that's when I like to shop. The stores are empty, the trip is quick and painless. This morning on the way to the dental thingee I stopped at the grocery. There was one woman at the cash register, then me, then two people behind me. The salesclerk was this PERKY, loud, jabbering little frizzy haired pudgy girl. She was really quite cute and nice, but she was just BLATHERING on and on with WAY too much energy. I said, just as a conversation opener, “Honey, you are WAY too perky for this time of the morning!” The woman who was having her purchases rung up turned around and in a bleary, tired voice, fervently said, “I AGREE!!!” I could see that this salesgirls manner had been getting on her last nerve. She was wearing a very lovely business suit, her hair was coiffed, and she had not got a stick of make-up on yet.

The guy behind me piped in and said, “Yeah, No KIDDING!” (so, I guess I wasn’t the only one who noticed). The salesgirl didn’t miss a beat, she told us that she had been at work since 4 in the morning and that along about five she had a SIX SHOT MOCHA to wake her up. Yes, six shots of espresso. The guy behind me shook his head and the lady at the counter turned right around and Raised her Eyebrows at me as she grabbed her bags and left. I paid for my purchase, with that girl jabbering 9000 miles per hour the entire time. My parting shot was, “I’m getting out of here before you crash!” The guy behind me laughed and I wished I’d asked for his phone number, if I could have gotten in a word edgewise.

The most shots I’ve ever had at once was Three, and that is just courting complete nerval breakdown! Of course this little chippy was all of 4 feet tall and 18 years old, and she could handle it. I wouldn't want her brains, either.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hah. thanks for the smile. off to finish an essay now - maybe that will have helped!
Miss Zeb