Monday, August 10, 2009

Janet Jackson Episodic

I've had company for the last five days, and spent most of it staring at the back of his head while he hogged my computer. So I shall just's glad to be back and 'nuff said.

I was able to fix some fun food, as in the salmon quiche I whipped up for breakfast one morning.

All my food looks alike, why is that?

Anyway, one of the things I did to escape was make an excuse to go to the post office and then I went to the park to chill out for a while! McKinley Park is a lovely park, it has a library, tennis courts, duck pond and a famous rose garden. I usually go to the rose garden end of it, and so I've never been to the kid area or...surprise surprise! the pool area.

All these years (18+) and I never went to the pool. It's not exactly a priority. I don't like to get wet and I don't want green hair!

But for some reason, the siren call of the wild pool lured me to Walmart where I was directed to the last 3 remaining swimsuits of the season. One was brown on brown with a GIANT skirt in size 3X. One was vomit color with bile streaks and a giant metal RING smack dab in the middle of the a heat magnet, sucking the sun's rays to fry your skin to a crackling sizzle in just that spot, and the third one was, sigh of resignation, tropical print.

Even though the tropical print one was my size, it did not have enough fabric on top to cover a 6 year olds' chest, much less a size 42DD. I looked and looked for something on the sale rack that could work as an extra top or under-T to wear with it but couldn't find anything. I just decided to take my chances, what the heck, it's a bathing suit not a Prom Dress.

And I went to the pool! And I loved it! I paid my 2 bucks and I got slowly into the cool, brisk water and I swam and I floated and I did some water-aerobics and I ignored the stares of the young punks, Goths, Vampyres and gang members lounging around the poolside. Eventually I got out of the pool, walked over to where I'd put my stuff and grabbed my towel...

and saw that my entire left breast was flopping in the breeze for all to see and admire! A full-court Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction, in broad daylight, at Mckinley Park Pool. I should have sold tickets.

They had these flip-flops for a mere $1.75 so I had to get them.

I came home and overhauled it, sewing the straps different and etc; and I'm sure next time I'll wear a colored undershirt with it!

Mackie, although not wild about tropical prints, was not so revolted that he refused to be photographed with my new bathing suit.

And that was my Sunday. May all your pool episodes be devoid of full frontal nudity!

1 comment:

beyondpanic said...

If you ask me, Mackie looks absolutely furious that you were exposing yourself!

I remember getting that exact same look from the nun in 10th grade when she caught me kissing my boyfriend behind the bleachers at the school dance!