Sunday, June 07, 2009

Food: It's What's For Dinner

It seemed like the perfect affair! Dinner at 6! Guests on their way! Food deliciously prepared! A quick text message to the the folks the door was unlocked and to make themselves at home until I could get there...Roast Beast with golden potatoes and organic carrots! Ribblees, otherwise known as spetzels, perfect, plump and glossy! And the grande finale: Banana's Foster!

Although it didn't exactly turn out that way.

For one thing, the auto-pilot mechanism in my brain over rode the 'leave door unlocked' command and thus with one turn of the key I locked my guests out in the cold and sleet! They had to trek mile after mile across the frozen tundra to another friends' house in order to keep from freezing to death on my doorstep until I got home!

Ribblee noodles, ready for the pot.
The right degree of texture and size
Into the pot a few at a time to keep them separate and give them room to breathe.

Broth simmering not boiling

Perfect Spetzels. I mean, really really perfect!

Except the guest of honor couldn't eat them because in the army they make them eat their own vomit and that's what these reminded him of.
Well, I wouldn't let him tell me the REAL reason he couldn't eat them, but that was what my mind conjured up when he said, 'it's because of something that happened to me in the army."

Ah! Fine Tri-tip steaks ready for the roasting pan!

Too bad I don't have any pics of this finished project because although some were taken, I believe my mouth was wide open in a scream and I refused to allow them to be published!


And here is where the story turns ugly! Because my Banana's Foster absolutely refused to flame! Not so much as a spark! Not even a small contained slow burn! Nothing! Nothing short of dowsing them in gasoline would have worked, and yet we tried and tried. The results were sugared bananas in burnt caramel tasting like a bottle of rot-gut Russian Vodka.

I was so traumatized I refused to allow the event to be photographed!

In my mind this post was going to end with a BANG! A lovely shot of my happy, full guests seated at my dining table grinning from ear to ear in sheer gustatorial bliss!

But instead, I will end with this shot so that I can issue a disclaimer!

I did it all while severely injured!

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! Bon Apetit!

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