Monday, February 16, 2009

Eet eez Different Meat

If the world ends and the economy falls, we can all just get jobs at McDonalds. Or so I thought until the other day when I went there and realized that nobody in there spoke or comprehended fair English.

That means that rather than hire good old American folks, they've taken to hiring illegals or barely culturated foreigners for some reason. So they won't be hiring the likes of us anytime soon. We're doomed.

At the drive-up window I asked the attendant what was the difference between a Big n Tasty burger and a Quarter Pounder. He told me, "Eet eez different meat." He made the word meat have about 3 syllables. me-ee-eat.

"Different like it's not 100% beef or perhaps it's made from the hooves or liver?"

"No, ees jus different mee-ee-eat."

"Well, which is bigger, the Big-n-Tasty or the Quarter Pounder?"

"I don' kno-o-ow, Ma'am"

"You don't know which burger is bigger?"

"Ees the mee-ee-eat. Eez different."

"Well, what do you mean by different?"

"Thee bu-uu-un ees thee same si-i-ize, Ma'am. Eet's jus the me-ee-eat that ees different."

I ordered the Quarter Pounder and went to the pay window. I asked the girl there what was the difference between the Quarter Pounder and the Big n' Tasty.

"Eets jus bigger mee-ee-eat" she said.

Bigger isn't always better, you know. Sometimes littler things are so much nicer. And miniature things can be the nicest of all. Here are some of mine:

This little cat likes to sleep curled up on the tea tray.

A creamer for a very small cup of tea.

The bluebird of happiness is really quite small.

Ladybugs, Katherine. Lots and lots of Ladybugs.

Nursery Rhymes should be wee, don't you agree?

And a poodle is supposed to be miniature!

My favorite, favorite: A miniature Barbie.


beyondpanic said...

"Different like it's not 100% beef or perhaps it's made from the hooves or liver?"

Bethany said...

You're a very funny woman, Miss Pink Ponsonby. Thank you ever so much for the sweet teacup/saucer and napkins! It is good to win! :o)